johno_1960: (Default)
Still out of a job, and I don’t want one. I’m done working for someone else. I’m done having no control over my time. My unemployment was denied. My former friends investigated my misdeeds, as only someone with a degree in journalism could thoroughly do, and thanks to the testimony of the various people who I brutalized during my time at work there, I am feeling pretty chastened by things. I lost my place. And to see what people think of me is crushing. So, the next phase of my life begins.
I don’t feel like being in public anymore. How long that lasts is unknown at this time. I’m probably done being onstage, DJing, appearing on the radio. I’m committed to spending the rest of my life as honorably as I can. Treading as lightly as I can.
Paradoxically, I have never felt better physically, or mentally. It’s great to be at home. Gardening. Reading. Writing. Going to pick up my guitar again. Never again will I live life dishonestly. I am going to withdraw from social media. Facebook first, LinkedIn, then all of the band and DJ accounts, and when I get really brave, I will trim my following

Trying to make time for my friends, while keeping my own counsel. I need to go see my siblings. Get Medicare, get my collection cleared.

Listen. Learn. Forgive. Love
johno_1960: (Default)
Have had several episodes of spiraling depression and anxiety this week. Still getting used to being out of work. I need an income, and I’m working on it, but I still have to deal with the new disposition of things. And it’s taking a while. I feel betrayed, and several friendships have been torn asunder. It’s not the end I envisioned, but at least I avoided the retirement party. So there is that. I feel like I’ve wasted 35 years of my life. Perhaps it’s “for the best,” because “everything happens for a reason,” but still I think it’s still too raw, and I am having problems getting over it.

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John O'Neil

July 2026

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