5 February 2023

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Wait, are we here already? And why am I so happy? The trauma is still there, and the thinking problems, and the life I have built. Why do I see it differently all of a sudden? Drugs? Tylenol, zoloft, methotrexate, folic acid, more tylenol, and citirizine!
I'm just done complaining. I mistakenly thought not complaining was saying that everything was great, and having a pollyanna zig ziglar positive outlook. Thats only a snow job. There is a middle path. After Marshall died I stopped telling people what to do. Like I knew what was best for another person. It evolved into a let people be philosophy. I learned how much control I have. None for you, all for me. And was finally ok with it.

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John O'Neil

January 2026

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